Pondering Thoughts

Back to Work

2007-08-29T19:06:00.000-07:00

This has happened so fast I don't have time to take a breath! On Monday I received the job offer (and accepted) for Program Manager and that my start date would be late September or October because of something to do with the personel new employee procedure. On Tuesday I spoke with personel and was told that the Director of Conciliation Services requested that my start date be ASAP! Well, they took that and ran with it. I will be attending orientation on Thursday morning and will begin my new job on Tuesday! I was informed that meetings have already been scheduled for me .......... welcome to management, yea!

Job Interview

2007-08-22T21:41:00.000-07:00

I applied for a couple different jobs only to keep my family off my back about going back to work. Low and behold I ended up receiving the call I really didn't want scheduling an interview. This interview was today at 11:30am downtown where there is no parking! The position is for a conciliator with Family Court and the position will be at the Northeast Regional Court Center. I did actually get excited because this would get me back into mediation which I do enjoy.

To make my husband suffer even more than putting up with the whining about job hunting, I decided that I needed an interview outfit. I went shopping yesterday and came home with a business suit that was 2 dress sizes smaller than any of the business attire I have in my closet. Things were starting to look up!

I get to the interview 15 minutes early and find out that they are running a "few minutes" behind which is typical. I had a book with me, so no problem! This few minutes turned into 30 minutes. Ugh...They called the 11:00 interviewee in at 11:45 and called me in at 12:05. I figured I'd be out of there by 12:30 and I could take the suit jacket off and before I left the court house to walk to the parking lot. That was a nice dream, because I was with the interview panel for 1 hour and 30 minutes!

There were 2 positions they spoke about and wanted me to consider the 2nd position of which I had no knowledge of. This new position is for a program developer/manager. This position falls more in line with administration and there is room for growth. I have the experience and education for either position, but the majority of my work experience falls more along the lines of a mediator. The director always fell back to matching my work experience and education to the job duties that would be expected of the program developer/manager more than that of the conciliator. After an hour long discussion with the panel, the director call in 2 other program developer/managers who happened to be downtown for a meeting and asked them to speak with me about the position and what it entails. The director will be calling me tomorrow morning for my decision on which position I'm more interested in. They will have a final decision about both position on Monday.

I'm still in shock that they saw fit to mention the 2nd position which does fit with my business degree and counseling degree! I've never experienced this, I've only read about it happening to other people! You know, David is getting a kick out of this because he knows I really don't want to go back to work. He may have won this battle, but I'm going to win the war (or however the saying goes)!

A Wonderful Birthday!

2007-08-12T12:21:00.000-07:00

My family took me to dinner last night to celebrate my birthday. We went to Macaroni Grill where Rochelle was working, so we sat at one of her tables. There was quite a bit of whispering going on, so I assumed that Rochelle was going to ask the opera singer working to sing happy birthday to me. Well, to my delight, Rochelle sang to me! It was awesome, I even got teary eyed. Our table even got desert which I found out that my In-laws were there for lunch and told Rochelle they wanted to pay for deserts for us when we went for dinner (Rochelle’s boss took care of the cost of the deserts, so …… yea!). I also found out that David called to make reservations and requested that we sit at one of Rochelle’s tables and that Rochelle sing happy birthday to me. Rochelle did try to get the opera singer but her manager said no because there was a special request for Rochelle to sing. The looks Rochelle was giving her father were worth the price of admission! It was all pretty comical.

This morning (today is actually my birthday) coffee was brought to me in bed. I just looked at David and rolled over and went back to sleep! It’s my day and I can do what I want…until David goes back to wake me up again and he is dressed in full riot gear ( I just don’t understand because I’m really a nice person!). I do remember hearing the whispering between the bear and the twins about going to breakfast before Rochelle goes to work, so I do get out of bed. I even have presents to open….wow! I now have roses, and my nails are going to look awesome, a beautiful frame for our family picture, and a chili pepper with bowls titled “Mom’s Salsa” and “Gringo Salsa”. I do like my salsa hot! Now, I get to choose a movie to see this afternoon.

I couldn’t ask for a better birthday.

Prayer's Please

2007-05-11T10:24:00.000-07:00

Our neighbor is trying out for the cheer squad at Deer Valley High School where she will be a freshman next school year. This is a squad that regularly competes nationally and has won 1st place at least 9 different times. This young lady has worked very hard at different cheer and gymnastic camps. Her parents and siblings are very supportive of her wishes and do so without hesitation. Tryouts are next week, so I'm asking all to keep this young lady in your prayers.

Thank you.

Happy Mother's Day

2007-05-11T09:00:00.000-07:00

I don't know who originally posted these pictures, but I have seen them several times throughout the years. Each time I see them I get teary eyed because the verses are so very true.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers in our lives!

A Wonderful Surprise

2007-05-10T08:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday afternoon was full of errand running and was very tiring. I decided that I wasn't going to cook for dinner because J & J would be at work, and Rochelle was going to run more errands with her friend. I told the bear she would have to put her culinary talents to use. I get this call from Rochelle asking me if I wanted to meet her and Sam for dinner. I hesitated before I answered because this never happens....hum! I agreed to meet them at Macayo's much to the relief of Audrey because she was probably going to make Ramon Noodles! Anyway, we get to the restaurant and these girls surprised me with a Mother's Day card and gift certificate to a nail salon. I get to have awesome fingers and toes for our cruise.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Bad Luck or What?

2007-04-15T08:00:00.000-07:00

Never a dull moment with the youngest child. We have learned about plantar warts. A very painful viral skin infection on the bottom of the foot. My choice of treatment was to have the doctor surgically remove the wart and move on with life. The kid didn't agree with me and chose to have the doctor apply a medication and dressing and hope for the best. Well, after 4 applications and very little if any progress of ridding the foot of this wart, I finally said too bad kid the doc is cutting it out. Ok, I wasn't that harsh. Kid is doing awesome a week later and foot is just about healed. Next....broken thumb.

Who knew volleyball was a dangerous sport? We do tease her telling her that if she would have used proper technique when hitting the ball ........She is so right hand dominate, that it was really comical to watch this girl attempt survival after the splint was put on her hand. She is a trooper, and had prevailed. This past week was a time for AIMS testing. Monday morning was the Language Arts portion which included a writing sample. The kid had to print with her left hand and hope for the best! She said it was so frustrating for her because while her mind was three paragraphs down the road, her hand was still on the first sentence. Fortunately for her, she is in the 7th grade and not in the 10th grade when this score would determine whether or not she would graduate from high school. Her thumb has lost its swelling and the splint is extremely loose and causing blisters. Off to the doctor on Tuesday with x-rays in tow and go from there.

On Friday, the kid and friends decided to go to the movies with of course yours truly as chauffeur (after 4 children this subject needs its own blog). I was on the second child pick up when my lovely child and her friend decided to race to the door of another friend to ring the door bell. Before I could yell slow down, be careful, don't run or anything along those lines, they were out of the car and the kid running through gravel twisted her ankle. Fortunately it was nothing major and she only has a sore ankle and hopefully but doubtfully has learned her lesson. Ha! Ha!

It was a long week for me at least. The kid survived, but I need one of those drinks with the umbrella in it and a soak in the spa!

Happy 21st Birthday Rochelle

2007-04-04T08:53:00.000-07:00

We were stationed at Fort Carson in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Your father had orders for Germany, and at one point we even thought you would be born in Germany. However, as the military works, you really don't know when your transfer is effective until the airline tickets are in your hands! You were 2 weeks early, and because of your impatience you were born at the old hospital which was built during WWII and not the new hospital which was to open about a month later.

Stubborn from the start you were. Prior to your birth, you presented breech, so I agreed to attempt to have you turned in hopes of avoiding a c-section. Dad was pretty grossed out by that procedure because after my uterus was completely relaxed, the OB dug your tiny body out of the birth canal and try to convince you to turn around. You didn't want to stand on your head, you were comfortable enough sitting, so you didn't budge! I had been feeling contractions off and on for a few days, but they never amounted to anything, so I just assumed that today was no different....remember there was still 2 weeks to go. Dad came home from work, we had dinner and were planning to go to Sears with the neighbor. For whatever reason, the neighbor convinced us to go to the hospital and sure enough, we were told that I was in labor and I wasn't going to Sears! To be young and dumb again.

I was admitted to labor and delivery and hoped that you took it upon yourself and turned around, but no you didn't. I was wheeled through miles of hallway to the operating room where my precious gift was born. Your father and I waited what we thought was forever before you arrived. I was in 7th heaven because I finally had my baby I so wanted. Of course there is always a but..........I was able to touch your arm before they whisked you away because you were not doing well. You had fluid in your lungs and were jaundice. You spent the first 2 days of your life hooked up to many machines. I couldn't see you because I was not mobile due to major surgery, and they couldn't bring you to me. Many tears were shed. You and I are very stubborn fighters and were united after only 2 days. Both of us were able to go home after 4 days and you had a clean bill of health with no traces of the struggle you had at the beginning of your life.

You shocked your father the first time in the hospital when you pooped everywhere. It wasn't funny at the time because I had I-V's to deal with, and was not able to move very well because I just went through major surgery, so I was looking for help. What I got from him was a look of panic. He turned pale and all he could say was, "I'll go home and get you a clean pair of pajamas." I cried and resigned myself to the fact that I was doomed! It's very funny now and so are any of the times you have been able render him speechless!

Thank you for the past 21 years. They have been years that I would never trade and I look forward to many more years. You may not have been happy with many of the decisions or choices your father and I have made for you throughout the years, but I believe that you are have begun to understand why we did what we did. I see this through the choices you are making for yourself today. I am very proud of you and have no doubt that I will continue to be.

All my love,
Mom

Happy Birthday

2007-04-01T19:49:00.000-07:00

This is a very long post, but kind of cute for those of you whose children have been through the middle school years and gives those of you whose children still have to go through these years something to chuckle at.

My youngest had a wonderful birthday week. She received presents almost everyday last week from friends and family including the spot light on Monday evening at church. Even her volleyball team sang to her. The one boy on the team we tease her about even tried to give her a hug and she just rolled her eyes at him and climbed in the car without the hug! Yea for my daughter and too bad for the coached son! I keep trying to drill into my girls that boys are not worth it........navy boy keeps showing up so where have I gone wrong! Anyway......

Saturday was very busy for the birthday girl with a volleyball game in the morning and her slumber party in the evening. Her team lost the match, but my kid was awesome. She was starting server and showed the teams and crowd why the coach plays her the majority of all the games in a match. Go kid! There were eight kids over for the party starting at 4:00 when all of them jumped into the pool with the temperature of 79 degrees. A couple hours later they ate pizza, then went out front to play spin the bottle on the lawn. Mind you, I had the painters and the AC repair man here so my older daughters were supposed to help me contain this group of middle schoolers. Jessica was home first, Julia followed a couple hours later and Rochelle made it home for the once the girls were tucked in their bags watching movies.

I found out today that there were a group of guys who were bugging my girl all week because they wanted to be invited to her birthday party and if she didn't invite them they were going to crash the party! Hum. Jessica was home at this time when the boys or at least one of them (the story changes each time it is told) came around. The boys didn't make it in to the party, but from what I understand it was fun flirting(?) out in the front yard! Where were you Jessica, while I was depleting my bank account paying the painters and the AC repair man? My older girls never put me through this, so this is new to me. Although, little by little stories are coming out about things the older girls have done and my jaw is dropping and I'm still trying to pick it up! Dad, who says he is going to be ready with the shot gun when the boys come, was at work so he was no help!

After the mosquitoes attacked, the party moved back inside and birthday cake and presents happened. My daughters lovely friends actually smashed cake in her face which was planned by all to take place when she read a certain card. It was great! Even more exciting was watching all the girls clean up the mess which of course I didn't expect to happen at all. Eventually they all calmed down and started watching movies. It was fun listening to them plot pranks. It would have been more fun to watch them pull them off, but they didn't. I want to know why the 3 older and tougher sisters chose to literally lock themselves in their bedrooms for the night. The excuse I got was something like "I remember the pranks we pulled on our friends older siblings and I didn't want to take the chance". I call that chicken miss 21 year old!

During the middle school years, David and I began giving the option of a swimming party (boys included) for their birthday party's instead of the slumber party. Rochelle took advantage of this and Jessica and Julia stayed with the slumber party. I really having doubts about offering this option to the baby whether in middle school or even in high school because of the crashing boys this year!

Now I get to feel some sympathy for the kid. She was just taking to me this past week about how something always goes wrong for her birthday and she was wondering what was going to happen this year. Well, I thought I did everything in my power to keep anything from going wrong and we were doing great until the volleyball game. The kid was the 3rd hit of the play, so the ball had to go over the net. The setter hit a wild ball and it was in the kids part of the court (she was serving this ball), and the kid had to chase the ball down and jump at least 10 in the air and stretch even longer to save the ball. She actually hit the ball and got the point! What I find out later while driving home is that during this play, when she hit the ball she heard something pop and felt pain in her thumb. She said she felt like crying because it hurt so much but because she was serving she didn't want pulled out of the game so she didn't say anything and continues to play the rest of the game and most of the 3rd and last game. The thumb wasn't really too swollen and she didn't seem to be in pain and was able to move the thumb, so I chalked it up to jamming her thumb and left it at that. We iced it when we got home and she didn't have an issue during her party that was described above so there we are.

Sunday morning, the girls were up by 8:00 and back in the pool again. During a game of Fish Out of Water or something like that, the kid was lifting herself out of the pool and place all her weight on this injured thumb without thinking. Well it reminded her that it was injured in a way that brought tears to her eyes complete with swelling and bruising. I left Rochelle in charge of getting the girls ready for parents to pick them up so that the kid and I can go to urgent care. After a good part of the day at urgent care, we find that her thumb is broken. The first thing she tells me is that she will attend all volleyball practices and games even if she has to sit on the bench. Kudos to the kid and her positive attitude. Of course she asked the doctor for a note to get her out of PE! Now we have to wait another year to see if this losing streak will come to an end.

Religous Education .......Home or at Church?

2007-03-28T19:28:00.000-07:00

This has been a frustrating year for volunteering as a teacher for the chosen religious education program. I am not a teacher, so I volunteer with watching the preschool age children which this year range from age 2 through 4. This age group is not included in the curriculum for this particular program, so this allows me the freedom to entertain this age group for the 30 to 45 minutes I have them with me. I do try to plan activities that relate somewhat to the subject the older children and adults will be discussing in their classes.

This program meets once a month with a theme predetermined for each month. The adult class not only teaches the adults, but the parents should be able to take what they have discussed in their class and be able to build upon what their children learned. The children's classes are separated by grade level and the teachers are supposed to teach the theme accordingly.

There were complaints by some of the parents that were recently brought to the attention of the church community. In my opinion, these complaints should have been dealt with on an individual basis and not shared with the community as a whole. The complaints as described to the community were more of the parent not understanding the purpose of the program and now the community is questioning whether or not the church is teaching the children appropriately concerning our faith.

As the volunteers met beginning in August to prepare for the first class, I learned that many were not teachers nor had been trained in any way as a teacher. I also learned quickly that none of us would be trained at all in teaching this program. It appears that different age groups are not learning the same subject matter as other age groups, or that the children are not learning the basic foundation of our religion. This may be due to the fact that the "teachers" do not know how to teach and I'm including those who are leading the adult group.

It is very difficult to be a teacher/leader in a job when the person doesn't not have experience or knowledge of that job. This program is run by a church employee, but is staffed with volunteers. It is also difficult to recruit only volunteers who are teachers, or even student teachers. This program would need about 18 for both days and these volunteers would have to commit for 10 months. This may be easier if our recruitment when outside the parish and didn't have to include begin a practicing member of our religion. Knowing this, some type of training or lesson plans should be given to these volunteers. Yes, themes are given and suggestions of web sites where ideas can be found are also given. These are nice tools, but if someone doesn't know how to use these tools to write a lesson plan that teacher has been set up to fail. (I do ask my daughter if what I have planned is too much or above the age group I have because again I am not nor am I trained as a teacher.)

I was taught that it is the parents responsibility to teach their children about their religious faith and the church's responsibility to build upon what the parents have and are teaching their children. As my children are now grown for the most part and are about to embark out on their own, I have learned that many parents are relying on others to teach their children instead of relying on themselves as parents. This may be due to circumstances of say single parenthood, or by choice. However, I still strongly believe that there are very few cases where the parent should rely on others to raise their children.

All in all, this is a great program and I feel that the majority of the children are learning about our faith. There are always those few in the crowd that will upset the applecart, and now we will see what our program coordinator is made of.

Fun....Fun

2007-03-25T08:25:00.000-07:00

A visit to Grandma's house gave my daughter a wonderful suprise! It snowed just for her, or so she says. We were getting rain here and Santa Fe was getting snow. This is the second snowman she created. The first one was about 7 years ago and was probably about 4 feet tall. Of course, the first time around she was helping her sisters and cousins.

Spring Break Over/Spring Break Begins

2007-03-19T07:58:00.000-07:00

Spring break........the fun I used to have! We, my daughters actually, celebrate this school year mile stone over a two week period.

Rochelle returns from her adventure in Japan today and goes back to school tomorrow. Poor kid didn't think this one through to allow a day of sleep before hitting the books again. To be young and in love, ahhh! The younger girls begin their week of relaxation today. Yikes!

I want a spring break! Maybe I'll have to come up with something for next week. Teehee :)

It's Personal Now

2007-03-11T21:07:00.000-07:00

Someone please save me or save them from me!

I'm now feeling as though my parenting is being questioned. People who I know love Rochelle and whom she loves are judging her and her decision to visit her boyfriend for a week. They can't believe that I actually was and am very supportive of her decision. These same people were married by the time they were Rochelle's age and a couple lived together prior to getting married. Their daughter at 18 moved into the dorms of the University that her boyfriend was attending. She attended one semester and when he moved to another city for medical school she followed him. They didn't get married until his last year of medical school.

Based on the about situations I don't believe these people have the right to judge Rochelle. I told my husband that these people are judging Rochelle because they feel guilty about their past.

I view this experience from a different perspective because my parents allowed me to tour Europe for 3 months when I was 14 and every year after until I was 18. Granted these tours were organized groups, but there were about 25 students per adult, and my boyfriend did go. I believe trust is a hugh factor here, and I trust Rochelle to make decisions she is comfortable with.

This is an experience of a life time that she may never have another chance at and she needs to enjoy. The educational benefits from this week in Japan are phenomenal and ones that she can share with anyone she encounters the rest of her life. This is more than many people can or will ever be able to claim including those that are choosing to judge her.

Spring Swimming

2007-03-08T09:58:00.000-07:00

To be a teenager again! The high yesterday was very close to 90 degrees and my girls went wild. My middle schooler was practicing her volleyball serve and was standing on the deck of the pool about to serve. You have to step into the serve to get the full power of your arm behind the serve. I mentioned that she was going to fall into the pool and the serve would still go over the wall into the street and whatever! Well, I said the wrong words because she checked the temp of the water which was 66 degrees and her older sister, our beloved flute player, challenged her into going swimming. They both donned swimsuits covered up by t-shirts and shorts, so why the suits I don't know, and the elder got in the water and became an instant popsicle. The middle school couldn't join her because Mom and Doc said she couldn't get her foot wet! Jessica did jump in the spa to thaw out. She says that she is ready for Easter. Traditionally we (I mean the Easter Bunny) gives the girls swim suits in their Easter baskets.

Being A Mom

2007-03-06T18:06:00.000-07:00

The following was send to me through e-mail, and it hit home. I can imagine myself having this same conversation with my daughters in the VERY FAR (teehee) future!

Being a Mom

We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family."

"We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.

"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."

But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a souffle, and her best crystal without a moments hesitation.

I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.

However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother. Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.

That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs. I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks.

I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.

Excitement at Church

2007-03-05T07:56:00.000-07:00

It started off very casual at a meeting for parents of youth group children to be confirmed this year. David was a sweetheart and attended because I had choir practice at 4:30 and we also had to attend a meeting for parents of the youth group children going to NCYC at 4:45. He really had no choice but to attend, but I'm still on cloud nine after a wonderful anniversary celebration so I'll give him all kinds of cudos! Anyway at the end of the first meeting we were informed that since December there has been a man approching young (under 18) female church members and asking them for a date. WOW!

I wish that we as parents of youth group members were informed of this earlier so that we could reinforce stranger danger (it's called Charilie Check First now) stuff to our children and in my case reafirm what my girls learned in Called To Protect and what David and I have taught them. I know, my 3 oldest are over 18 and my youngest is 12, but the 18s are still 12 and the 12 thinks she's 18! Needless to say, David would have actually attended the masses that this man attends so that there would be a cop available to confront him then and there while waiting for uniformed officers to arrive.

What we were told was that this man had approaced 2 girls and asked them for dates. He approaches girls leading them to believe that he is lost. The girls try to help him and that is all he needs. The first incident happened in December and those parents chose not to follow through with the police. The second incident happened not that long ago and these parents are following through with police and I believe they will press charges. However, this man could have been arrested yesterday if certain procedures had been in place by the church. There is a police officer who is a member of St. James and has taken the position that our church is his domain and that no other police officer can do a better job of protecting our church than he can. Well, this officer should have educated our youth group leader volunteers about what they needed to do when this man was on church property so that the police could arrest him.

Well, when this man was seen at the 6:00 mass, 2 of our wonderful 20 something year olds did what they needed to do to protect our youth. The youth group leader wanted to call the "St. James Cop" and Rochelle said no I'll call my Dad he is only about five minutes away. David showed up and they were still trying to get through to crime stop so David made a call and had officers there within about 10 minutes and this situation was taken under control before mass ended and without alarming our parishoners. This man can and will be arrested for tresspassing if he shows up on church property again.

David the police officer is all about protecting the citizens of Phoenix and will do what he needs to do to get the job done. He realizes and understands that part of his job is to educate the citizens on how police are only a tool they can use to help themselves, but that to use this tool effectively certain rules must be followed in a specific order for them to work. Since December and maybe even before then, our parish leaders believed that they had followed all the rules and that this situation was now in the hands of the police. Guess what, there was an extremely important step that was not completed by church leaders so that the police could not follow through on what our parishoners would consider them doing their job. David was able to coach our youth group leader in following all the steps necessary so that the police can do their job if this man shows up on the church property. We have many Phoenix Police Officers who are members of St. James, and if the token officer had done his job as he has led our church leaders to believe he is the only one who knows what he is doing, we most likely would not have this man around out church 3 or more months after he started approaching our children. When egos get in the way, people get hurt.

What kind of adults are we if we do not put the protection of our youth first before our own glory. Teens and even some 20 somethings have not yet developed the emotional and mental maturity to protect themselves against bullys. This is something that needs to be taught to our young people. These skills do not just appear in their memory bank at a certain age.

I've rambled on enough, but to end on a note to booste my ego......During this meeting, we also learned that these 2 girls remembered what they learned in the Called to Protect class and informed their parents who then informed our yourth group leader. Yea and a gold star for ML (youth group teacher) and myself for a class well taught!

Happy Anniversary...Yesterday

2007-03-04T09:40:00.000-07:00

Ya Hoo 23 years!

We had dinner at The Melting Pot which was an awsome experience. It was a four course meal fondue style. We had roses, chocolates, and a card at our table because David mentioned that it was our anniversary when he made reservations. The presentation was spectacular and we didn't realize that our dinner lasted 2 1/2 hours.

We went to the movies and saw Wild Hogs. Our sides were aching when we left because we laughed through the whole thing.

Finally we went to Coyote Alley to listen to the band. Music was wonderful. We arrived at about 9:30 and it was standing room only. We stayed a couple hours and enjoyed it.

I guess I'll keep the guy for a while longer!!!!!

Can I have your autograph?

2007-03-01T15:06:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, David called after he made a drug bust sounding pretty excited. Actually it was his squad that made the bust, but it was his lead that got them the bust so he is considered the investigating officer. It was 2100 pounds of pot....wow! The girls and I did the wave and high fives and so on. He even sent a picture to our cell phones.

Today, he calls and tells me that there is a press conference at 1:30pm. He's been through this stuff before, so I just did the proper wife thing and responded with excitement and encouragement and did the wave and so on. After the press conference, I get another call and find out that he was personally interviewed by channels 3 and 15, and 10. Now I really have to watch the news because this is only his second or third personal interview for an arrest/bust he's made.

Back to work....maybe!

2007-02-26T19:53:00.000-07:00

Interview tomorrow at 11:00am. Here we go! The position is back at the old office and is the same one I had before, without the administrative duties. I was excited when my friend called and told me that there was an opening. The attorneys that will work with this new person were asking her to strongly encourage me to apply. We'll see how it goes. I've been home a year now, and the main reason for my being at home has been resolved and we will celebrate on May 24th at 5:00pm! It was extremely close to not having this celebration in May. WOW.

Truck Story

2007-01-23T09:49:00.000-07:00

Is it so difficult to remember to look at all gauges on the dash board of our vehicle other than the gas gauge and then let your father know when one of them is reading low or the needle is in the red zone......a puddle of fluid is left under the truck. In our family we like to say "In police work, we call this a clue!"

Poor Julia, no I take that back after having a night to sleep on it! She comes in the house yesterday morning with watery eyes telling me that the window defroster is not putting out hot air and she can't see out the windows in her truck. Of course she is already late to school, and Jessica left 15 minutes earlier so what to do? I give in to the tears (David says I'm to soft with our girls) and hand her my car keys and she is off to school in the suburban. I call the school to let them know she is late and they will give her a pass and so on.

My husband gets home from work and says its probably just the thermostat and he can probably replace that and all will be well. Of course, this isn't the 70's or 80's when a person with a few tools could work on their car's simple problems without a hassle. Well, it would cost us more to buy the tools to change the thermostat in the truck than it would cost us to pay an auto shop to do it for us! Poor Dad, his basic male instinct to provide, support, protect or what ever his weakling female offspring was totally shattered. Anyway, he did get to redeem himself somewhat by lecturing to Julia of the importance of car maintenance and especially paying attention to the gauges.

David was doing very well using all his patience while Julia was standing rolling her eyes during this speech, until he asked her when the last time was she checked the air pressure on the tires. She gave the wrong answer by telling him that she doesn't know how. When David's voice became lower than the range of Josh Turner's voice, Jessica and I looked at each other and I pushed Jessica to grab Julia and take her to put air in the tires. You see, David has has actually taken the three older girls and shown them along with reciting the steps to putting gas in the car, changing a tire, and putting air in the tire all long with other car care things. As the girls ran out the front door, David grabbed the TV remote and planted himself on the couch for the rest of the evening.

We have an appointment this afternoon to get the truck fixed. When I take the truck, should I leave David's cell number with them to call for approval of any work, or just give them mine? Ok, I'm not that mean, I'll give them mine and if I feel they are taking me for a ride I'll call David and let him take it from there.

Volunteer Frustration

2007-01-18T20:19:00.000-07:00

Now what? I went to pick up my packet for February’s Generations, and there wasn’t one for me! Hum. I knew there was going to be a problem once Rochelle was no longer an employee. Since the first core team meeting, our leader eluded to the idea that the preschool aged children were in the nursery because their parents were in the adult class and therefore were not considered part of the generations of faith curriculum. For the past five months, Rochelle would make sure that I had the packet and the supplies I would need for class. We’ll see how it goes when I ask her for supplies I need for crafts, copies of color sheets and so on. You know, the little people want to learn just like their siblings and parents! They have fun too. Ok, I have fun planning and preparing! Who is this class for anyway, them or me? Tee! Hee!

whining continued......

This reminds me of our leader and myself co-facilitating Called To Protect (CTP). There was no co-facilitation involved. I introduced myself and that was all I was needed for. I was never given the materials required by the Diocese for the facilitator. I had to ask Rochelle to bring the facilitator's handbook home so that I could get a copy of it made. I needed to prepare for the CTP for Youth. The person I was co-facilitating with knows how to facilitate a class as do I and I had to prepare for class. Since that incident and because I asked her to let me know ahead of time (not 2 days prior by email, or the announcement in the bulletin) to a scheduled CTP class so that I could make sure I was available, she has presented the last 2 classes alone. She refuses to ask ML and stated that she will not ask our resident parish counselor because she is hard to work with. Per the Diocese rules there must be 2 facilitators or the class must be canceled. I agreed to volunteer to be a facilitator for CTP when I was first approached because I felt that with my educational and professional background I would be able to reach our parishioners without making them feel that this is one more road block they must get over to be a part of their chosen religion.

I volunteer to be treated like this. Why am I still around and trying? I believe in working for the best interest of the children, and doing what I can to keep their childhood as safe and fun for them before they have to deal with adulthood because that will come soon enough.

Who's In Charge?

2006-12-21T22:29:00.000-07:00

Here we go again. Same chaos different Holiday! This time around, the singing adults consisted of the Sunday 6:00 choir and the children were from the 11:00 children’s choir. It is an awesome idea to combine the choirs for one of the Christmas masses so that the children will feel appreciated by the congregation as well as the adult members. Of course there is a BUT here!

Our music coordinator was not very coordinated in my opinion. Please humor me while I justify how I believe I’m able to give my opinion and someone actually believe in what I say and not think I’m only whining. I have been part of many different bands and choirs for the past 33 years. I have played trumpet throughout the United States and Europe in concert and jazz bands including 1^st chair and soloist. As an undergraduate, I also played flute, clarinet, and piano. I have also been part of concert choirs, madrigal choirs, church choirs, and community choirs as a soprano including being a soloist as an undergraduate. My education in music was as a performer and not as a teacher, but my experience gave me the opportunity as a child to work with adults, and as a young adult (Rochelle’s favorite words!) and adult to work with children. Many of these roles were considered professional, others were volunteer, and of course those as a student.

Now, as a child or student working with adults, I was challenged with music slightly above my level of play, but within reach. The music I read was clearly at my level of musicianship. I do not remember feeling out of my realm when it came to reading the music or understanding the music lingo therefore causing me to just give up. As an adult working with children, I remember the musical numbers performed were always those most common so that the children recognized the melodies and felt that they were able to perform their very best.

Back to the present. Practice tonight for the Christmas Eve mass was extremely frustrating for all participants. The children were out of control. They didn’t have a leader to follow. There were many adults telling them what to do (including parents), which was very confusing. The children didn’t have all the songs that we were going to perform, and the ones they had were out of order. These children were not old enough to be given general directions and be expected to follow them. The majority of the children needed hand held. The adults were extremely thankful that our choir director (not the music coordinator) took it upon himself to have folders with the songs we were singing ready for us. Please keep in mind that rehearsal began at 6:00pm and we didn’t actual start rehearsing until about 7:00pm. By this time the children were so restless that there really was no way to bring them back to reality.

During each song, the music coordinator did his job by explaining tempos, repeats, codas, and so forth, but if you do not have an education in music, you will not understand this language. This is like a foreign language and must be taught in steps and not just thrown out there and expected to be understood. Well, the adults were ok, but the children were lost. Many of these children are in kindergarten or first grade and are having a hard time reading much less understanding some of the Latin terms our leader was using. These children had no clue what was going on. They gave up and starting acting out to remind us that they were there and needed attention. As I mentioned before, these children needed taken by the hand and lead through the songs. This didn’t happen and the kids were lost. How unfortunate for these children to lose what could be a very valuable experience for them. What was even more disturbing to me is that this coordinator is actually the choir director for the children’s choir! Yikes.

I personally believe that our coordinator has been brainwashed by a couple of the Sunday morning choir members and he believes that he must show that he is better than or knows more than the Sunday evening choir. Ok, I’m evil! We are a volunteer choir and the experience and music education varies amongst everyone, but when put together instead of pitting against one another, we are awesome no matter which choir we belong to.

Our choir can only be as good as it's leader, and as long as this coordinator is going to lead…….I’ll leave the rest to your imagination.

I guess I can add a ps…..the instrumentalists didn’t know that they must transpose their music. I'm not sure how far along they are in their school program or what grade they are in, but someone needs to do that for them. My guess would be the coordinator needs to take responsibility here. I did notice that our (6:00 choir) director did ask them not to play when he noticed the problem. I thank him for that.

Group hug everybody!!!!!!

Work Ethics

2006-12-13T06:14:00.000-07:00

Hmm? According to the American Heritage Dictionary, work ethics is a set of values based on the moral virtues of hard work and diligence. What has brought this on you ask? Let me tell you!

I received a telephone call from my neighbor about 8:30 one morning. She asked if I was aware that a truck was parked on the side of our house (we are a corner house) blocking our RV gate. Our neighbor was concerned because this particular street seems to be a chosen drop off place for stolen vehicles. I called crime stop to report an abandoned vehicle so that it could be towed away. I also called my dear hubby because he was on duty (he is a police officer) and hoped that he could use some type of professional courtesy or something like that to speed up the process. I know, very tacky of me but I did it anyway. I’m glad I did!

A police officer showed up within 30 minutes which impressed me because this is a low priority call and I wasn’t expecting anyone for a couple hours or so. During this time, my husband messaged this guy and asked him to call because he knew that this officer was known for begin lazy and not wanting to do anything that required some type of effort on his part. My husband had to convince him to do his job! This officer didn’t want to do anything but put a red tag on the window and after so many days if the owner doesn’t claim it the truck would be towed. Well, according to dear hubby this could be reported as a possible stolen and the truck would then be impounded thus taken off our street.

I, as the citizen that reported a possible crime, wanted the result of my complaint to be the removal of the truck from my street. To accomplish this type of result and make the citizens this officer works for happy, he would have to do some paper work which would be somewhat time consuming, but part of his job. This officer actually told my husband that he was just a lazy man and didn’t want to do any extra work! Needless to say, within 2 hours after I made the original call to crime stop the truck was towed.

This officer and those people in other customer service professions that choose this work ethic need to understand they need to conform to the elements of the environment they work in, or transfer to an environment that envelopes their beliefs. This is the person that is always asking why they are passed up for that promotion, or why the majority of complaints concern them.

I have had this type of experience dealing with offices that are from both the private sector and the public sector, so we can’t blame this on being a government employee!

Help I'm Hurting

2006-11-25T06:49:00.000-07:00

Fibromyalgia…ugh! I know there is nothing anyone can do to help with the pain. I only ask that you be patient with me and understanding when I bite your head off! Yea, that is a lot to ask. Pain sucks. I’ve been up for the past 2 hours (it is now 6:30am) and 1600mg of ibuprophen has not taken an edge off the pain. We might need to move up to vicodin! I started feeling the flare, if you will, coming on day before yesterday when clouds started making their appearance and I started losing my grip. Last night was not doing well at all. When I’m in pain, I lose all train of thought, start going in circles, and really just become a total bitch. This is called fibro fog.

I feel the majority of the pain in my shoulders and it feels so good to sit in the spa and let the jets massage that area. However, cold hurts me and now that it is cool outside when I step out of the spa, I’m back to ugly pain again. This, in my fibro mind, defeats the purpose of sitting in the spa.

For the most part, I’m usually a person thinking that my glass is half full, but during this pain I’m pretty sure that my glass is half empty. This fibro experience reminds me of the cycle of domestic violence. Right now I’m in the abusive phase knowing that the honeymoon phase should start soon, but I don’t know when!

Giving Thanks

2006-11-25T06:20:00.000-07:00

I was reminded for the umpteenth time that I am really blessed with my wonderful husband and beautiful children. We had our annual Family Thanksgiving Gathering at my sister in-law’s house and found the atmosphere to be very tense and uncomfortable. My mother (she has shared her day with us for the past 3 years) and her friend (he attended for the first time this year) felt totally out-of-place almost to the point of being unwelcome. This is so unusual for our family to emit this type of atmosphere because all of us have always been so accepting of anyone no matter what their station in life is.

My husband and daughters stepped in to make my mother’s friend feel a part of the family and celebration. Each of my girls stepped in without any prodding to bring happiness and fun to their younger cousins’ day. I have to thank my daughters for accepting that there are family issues present that their much younger cousins are reacting too and that nothing said or done is meant to be personal. Most of all thank you for not asking why and trying to attach blame.

My family jumped in on an invisible cue and made this day of thanks one to feel good about not one to regret.

By the way……

We started our day out by attending Mass with three of us participating with the combined church choir. Oh my! Thank you Mike for being the leader of the Sunday 6:00 choir. I have not witnessed such disorganization, starlet pouting, and more with a community choir than I did for this Mass. Of course, I’ve only been involved with the combined choir experience when Mike has been in charge! I’m hoping that the person who was in charge for this Mass allowed this chaos only because he is still very new to our parish and hasn’t learned the dynamics of each of the choirs and how to meld them together during holiday celebrations. Good luck for Christmas masses.

Volleyball

2006-11-11T14:55:00.000-07:00

Eight weeks of practice on Tuesday nights and Thursday evenings and of course the match on Saturdays has come to an end until the first week of December when we start all over again. These kids did wonderful. The team consisted of four 7^th graders and 6 6^th graders. This was the first time any of these kids played competitive volleyball through the YMCA. They had a season losing record of 1 and 7 and they did lose the first game of the single elimination tournament this morning, but their attitudes were positive and they had fun. The coaches have done wonders with these kids teaching them the fundamentals of the sport in a way that kept the kids interest.

The winter season begins December 9 and The Bear hounded me until I showed her the receipt confirming her registration! This child had not played volleyball until last summer with the YMCA’s recreational league. She enjoyed it enough to try out for the team at school. She didn’t make the team, but did make it through two weeks of tryouts and three cuts before she was let go. Go Bears!

Thank you big sisters for practicing with the baby!

Pat on the Back

2006-11-09T09:14:00.000-07:00

Finally sitting down crocheting, watching the Suns after some 7^th grade science homework and a lesson in the probable thought process of a runaway pregnant teenager in hopes to dissuade my oldest twin from being manipulated into covering for this teenager. Fortunately my girls feel comfortable talking to me and David about many problems or issues they may encounter. David and I have earned this trust by listening to them, not judging them, and guiding them to work out a solution they understand and are for the most part comfortable with. (My last two statements can be a whole blog by themselves!)

Rochelle was sitting with me typing away on her laptop, the other 3 girls burrowing in their respective bedrooms, and David at work. Rochelle and I were somewhat mulling over this evenings happenings. We somehow ended up talking about how some parents speak to their children as though they are friends and discuss adult topics with them sometimes asking for advice. I learned that this type of parent/child contact was a reality and not only on TV after I started working with CPS cases. How we ended up talking about this I don’t really know, but I made a comment about how the twins were very close to flunking both years of middle school. Rochelle interrupted me and said that she didn’t realize that the twins could have flunked middle school. She showed genuine surprise with this knowledge!

Thank you Rochelle for one of the most wonderful complements and acknowledgments of good parenting skills a parent can receive. We are a very close family and generally know when one of us is hurting, and I guess David and I did a wonderful job working through this problem with the twins and keeping this issue from affecting Rochelle and Audrey. Go Mom and Dad!!!!!

Halloween

2006-11-01T09:51:00.000-07:00

Halloween was full of excitement. All six of us were home for the evening! This is a rare event. The twins set up outside with pizza, sodas, movies, and of course a hugh tub of candy to wait for trick-or-treaters. They had two of their friends helping (?!?) them. They rented Ring Two and Sleepy Hollow, but I don’t think they actually watched the movies because they found it more exciting to entertain the poor unsuspecting trick-or-treaters. It was about 9:00 when the girls came inside because the candy was gone. I should say that the candy not horded by the girls for later! Actually they did very well at not eating more candy than they gave out.

Our oldest took our youngest trick-or-treating as part of a group with our neighbors. She brought home about half a pillowcase worth of candy! Now our tub is once again full, ugh. Of course, there is a message on the bag of candy stating who the candy belongs to and that permission is required prior to eating any. I have no doubt that the tone is a very threatening one. I see my future now from about 3:30 on, because the older girls will take and hide a good portion of the candy. When the 12 year old sees that candy has disappeared she is going to throw a royal fit (her title is “Queen Audrey” around the house), and the older girls will look at her with extremely innocent expressions and tell her that they didn’t eat it, so they didn’t have to ask her permission to remove the candy. Life can be so rough for the youngest child!

We did have the cutest trick-or-treater last night. She is just shy of being 2 years old and was dressed like a cowgirl. She was wonderful! It brought back memories of my oldest when she was that age because she too was a cowgirl. My oldest would say cowboy-girl and would wear her boot with everything. It was a fight to take them off! I’m not saying that the child is stubborn beyond belief, however…….I’m sure that the 2 year old visiting us last night cooperates with her parents and causes no parental distress!

Overall, it was fun to sit back and watch the interaction of the all the girls with the multi-culture of trick-or-treaters from the range of ages to known friends to strangers. Hmmm, even though we had to bring them back to task a few times, maybe the girls were listening as their father and I were attempting to teach manners and so on!

Once a Mom always a Mom?

2006-10-29T05:46:00.000-07:00

Here go the tears again. After 22 years, one would think that I would have accepted the attitude or choices made by my in-laws toward my children. No, I haven't because I'm the one who has to look at the disappointment on their faces and answer the question why. Are my feelings hurt by my in-law’s actions, or are these tears because I cannot keep my children from the disappointments of life? On the other hand, am I causing my children's reaction by showing my feelings toward the choices of my in-laws?

A little history......

For the past 23 years I have tolerated and supported my husband being an obvious 2nd choice to his sister in his parent’s life. The actions made by my in-laws to make me choose the word obvious will be saved for another post! My older children, now aged 20,17, and 17 were born first then my sister in-law’s first child was born 2 weeks after my youngest child who are now 12 yrs old. For about 15 years, my in-laws lived in their motor home and traveled from national parks to state parks and so on working for their space rental and really to support themselves. They would park at our house for a couple months in the winter and this is when they would bond, as they called it, with my older children. Of course, the children were not allowed to go to the motor home any time they wished, but only at set times that were strictly enforced by my mother in-law according to my father in-law. It is very difficult to explain to 3 year olds and a 5 year old why they can't go to Grandma's house when their house is parked in our yard! However, there are beautiful memories that my older children have of these times and love to talk about them.

Now enters my sister in-law’s oldest child and my youngest child. My children were dropped hard and fast and were replaced by sister in-law’s oldest child. My youngest child never had a chance. (This choice made my in-laws was supported and has been kept extremely healthy by my sister in-law for the past 12 years.) Yikes, how does one explain why grandma and grandpa don't come to visit us anymore and we only see them if we are invited to their Aunts house? There was always some excuse by my in-laws to decline any invitation that we extended unless it involved a BBQ with all the relatives.

In the past year, an invitation to attend my daughter's 12th birthday party was declined because grandpa was tired. Well two weeks later, the in-laws attended the other grandchild’s 12th birthday party and this cousin told my 12 year old "ha ha grandma and grandpa are here for my party and didn’t go to yours". Nice kid or should I say wonderful parenting? I come to find out after this incident that these comments are not the first. My youngest then tells her older sisters that she has been putting up with this for a long time from all of the cousins who range in age from 12 years old to 3 years old. My older girls were fit to be tied not to mention my desired reaction when I heard this. I didn't do anything other than try to smooth my daughters ruffled feathers and let the older girls loose to protect their baby sister! My husband asked me many years ago to overlook his parent’s actions, so I did because it appeared that my older girls were content with their relationship with his parents. That request is now mute because our oldest is over 18 and the twins are only a few months shy of 18. They have been taught to confront the person that they have issues with to resolve these issues instead of letting them fester. I, because of the request by my husband, kept the girls from confronting their grandparents in prior years but that is no longer the case. This has and will make for very interesting family gatherings!

My parents are on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. They have treated my children and my brothers’ children as equally as possible considering that I live in a different state than they do. My brothers and my parents (now only my mother as my father passed away 5 years ago) live in the same city so my parents had more readily access to their other grandchild than they did to my children. However, that didn't keep them from being as involved in my children's lives as they were in my nieces and nephews lives. I do realize that my parents retired many years ago and did travel at will. My mother still lives this same very active life style. My father in-law is 80 plus years with old age health issues and my mother in-law is 64 years old and still working and will probably still work for at least another 6 years.

Back to the present.......

Yesterday, was a marching band competition involving on of my twins. She is a senior in high school and this is the last year that we will see her in band. I gave my in-laws including my sister in-law the football games and competitions she would be performing at so that they can see her perform. Of course, there are excuses for not attending which really doesn't disappoint me. What I find hurtful and see it in the expressions of my girls is that grandpa is too tired to support my daughters but not too tired to baby-sit with my sister in-laws very young and active children (remember her kids are aged 3 years to 12 years).

Am I causing my children's disappointment and therefore their pain by trying to include their grandparents in their lives? Maybe I'm trying to build a closeness with my in-laws and sister in-law that I no longer have with my mother and brothers because they live out of state and my in-laws are not buying it. Wow, now that’s a thought!